Sunday, June 6, 2010
From a school dog's perspective...
Note from the editor: So it was so weird when I turned on my computer this morning and found this blog entry written by my dog Maya. I thought to myself "Self, have you just totally lost your mind or did your dog really write this amazing blog entry about what it is like to be the school dog in a one-room school house?" Either way, I figure I need to share this with you all... a blog written by my dog, Maya.
Hi. My name is Maya and I have the best job in the world. I am a school dog. Word on the street is my job is pretty rare and that most schools don't allow dogs which I think is totally bonkers because all schools need dogs, at least I know my school does. Well, to be truthful I have only held this position for the last year. Before that my mom said I was too young and "immature" and would be too "distracting" for the kids. I don't even know what these words mean, but I do know that I am SO good at my job, everyone says so.
As the school dog I am responsible for several very important duties. First off, I have to greet the children every morning outside as they walk to school. This is so fun because I just get SO excited when I see them that I literally want to eat them, and sometimes their hands and clothes accidentally find their way into my mouth due to my over excitement. My mom says we will work on that, but I don't think the kids really mind. My next duty is to give positive reinforcement to the kids while they work. I do this by licking their pants, sitting on their feet, or laying under their desks while they work. They say I am their "inspiration" when they work... sometimes my mom says I am distracting them, but what does she know?
My other wicked important duty is to entertain the kids at break. It is really hard but this consists of me chasing balls and frisbees, playing tag, and snuggling on the bean bags. On nice days I like to sit outside of school and guard it from unknown enemies that often come in the form of little yappy dogs. I refuse to leave the school yard if I am outside, although I am sometimes tempted by my friends who walk by and say hello to me and the ever wafting smell of our neighbors compost, but a school dog's responsibilities come first.
I do admit to taking the occasional nap during school hours but it is only because my job takes so much out of me. I have two beds at school in prime locations. One bed is located in the front hall so I can still protect the students from unwanted visitors and my other bed is located in the middle school section of the school... just cause I like the middle schoolers, a lot.